happy face and grateful....

it's seriously a tough rough day for me.... went out pretty early and back to the nest only after midnight... lotsa things happened, the expected and the non expected one... why??? why??? why??? cud someone possibly answer me, i wud be very grateful as this things might be haunting me for definitely few days... yet, pple say let by gone be by gone... and i'd learned to just forget the past....


Currently i'm listening to Destiny's Child... and the song entitled "Happy Face" (correct me if i'm wrong) just blew me away.........


these are few rows of the lyric, and u might as well listen to the full song HERE...

I woke up this morning, the sunshine was shining

I put on my happy face

I'm living, I'm able, I'm breathing, I'm grateful

To put on my happy face.....

Woke up and realized this world's not so bad after all

Looked at it through a child's eyes, and I saw these beautiful

Things that you never think about

Like the ocean, moonlight, stars and clouds

It's amazing how we don't appreciate our blessings

There's plenty of people who don't like me

But since my mama loves me and I love myself

Sometimes, it gets tough, it gets tough

But I can't give up, can't give up

Just take a deep breath, close my eyes

Feel the love and give a smile

............................................ this is no doubt a really good song.... and rite now it stucked in my head... if only every single person in this world put on their happy faces everyday, i'm sure no one's heart gonna be hurt after all.... just a short simple smile and u won't regret,,,,


occay, off to bed.....

Selamat Panjang Umur

My absolute dearest man on the planet is celebrating his birthday today!!!
he's my loving soul mate and he's my sweetest sweetheart....

Wishing u my dear all the happiness in the world, and may ur life be a big round of pleasures and successes....

Heart note....

Today is his birthday, but i cudn't find my time to prepare anything....

I bought everything for the party, i planned what to do since the last few months....

yet time just wasn't there for me.... we'r too busy running some errands....

if only there were pples here care to celebrate his birthday together, i would be soo thankful...

As my heart beats for u, i know what's ur feeling at that moment,........but i have nothing, not a birthday cake, not a single card, even a birthday gift..... and i am really sorry for that....

I cried while trying to make some cuppies cuz i knew u'r crying inside......

how i wish i cud turn back time, so that everythng can be arranged once again and i'll make u a pleasant birthday....

Nonetheless, i just hope my 3 lil cuppies at least brought u some joy... whatever it is, be it bad or good, be it happy or sad, i'll never ever let u alone.... i'll be with u and i'll always be.... i love u....

Happy Birthday MySweetheart!!!
Happy Birthday, gentleman. You are a true blessing to have as a part of my life....

HAPPY 5TH ANNIVERSARY

“On this our anniversary, we may not have wealth, but we do have each other and that is worth more than anything in the world.”

occay... what acually had happened on the June 26th 2003???

this is the first day we went out together... we went cruising by the moscow river... we went to Gorky Park ( a theme park here) and spent all day together.... saya hanya dilamar pada keesokan harinya, 27th june, and i din take much time to decide as i had mentioned before that i already had a crush on him since we were in INTEC, love at the first sight gitu... supposedly 27th is our anniversary but then we prefer 26th to remind our very2 first date....

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?

If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?

If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call

If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings

But I know you are here with me now

We’ll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand

If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?

If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?

If you’re not for me then why does this distance made my life?

If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away

But I know that this much is true

We’ll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you could be the one I die with

And I'm prayin' you’re the one I build my home with

I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand

If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away

And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today

‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right

And though I can’t be with you tonight you know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand

If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

and i still remember this song by heart.... (If You're Not The One by Danile Badingfield).... Darling sang this beautiful song to me over the phone... we spent only 4 days together before he went back for summer holiday in malaysia, leaving me here terkapai2 dalam mabuk cinta keseorangan bertemankan his voice terngiang2 menyanyi lagu ni untuk shieda.... and until today this song remains on top in my heart....

regardless of what happened, life goes on.... it turned out wrongly, and we both know nothing cud be done to mend it.... but we hope and we pray hard that this thing will settle, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but we'll continue hoping for the forgiveness.... what else i cud do, to mad at him??? to hate him??? this is sooo hard, and i love him more than anyone could, i live my life on him... He's the one that i dream to be the daddy of my children... and i hope what had happened really taught us something... Not everything is forgiven, and we have to deal with it....

I am a DOCTOR!!!!

yahoooooooooooooo.....


i did it!!!
we did it!!!!


thnx a lot for all the prayers and the support....

m going out for makan2 to celebrate..... sape nak ikut jom!!!!!

NERVOUS....

it's 9 hours left before my last paper tomorrow...
and i'm sitting here not knowing what else i should do....
not that i'd done with my reading, but i'm just a bit tired after all.....


and thinking bout this cute lil adam just make me wanna finish everything as soon as i can....
we'll go shopping this sunday k adam!!! hehe....

Gambatte shieda!!!!
Good Luck!!!
and good luck to my dear Han also.....
and good luck to all my batch.....


malaysia, we'r coming back soon......

i'm relieved....

tina, elyn, kak yan and damia, me... :)

yeehaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... my senggugut pain is over...

i walked myself down the stairs from 10th floor to the ground, (not that a sort of exercise thing that i like when i'm having this so called sakit org perempuan), just to get myself mineral water and sum bread.... and thinking of having sum icecream might help lessen this pain, i bought a box of vanilla icecream too... :)


n i'm sooooo relieved the pain has gone.... hehe.....


occay, maybe sum of u don't know the term menarche that i used in the previous n3... since 99.9% of my blog readers adalah dari kalangan Hawa, i don't feel guilty and shame to describe here... jadinya untuk lebih clear, "menarche" adalah kali pertama seseorang wanita didatangi haid... and this term is widely used and quite important as whenever u girls go to your gynaecologists or obstetricians, they might ask when was your first menstrual bleeding/haid...


another important questions are like:
- berapa hari menses tu berlaku???
- berapa lama ur menstrual cycle??? (dikira dari hari pertama keluar sehingga the next first day.... jangan silap kira dari hari terakhir keluar sehingga hari pertama berikutnya tauuu!!!)..... yang ni sangat membantu untuk wanita2 yang telah berkahwin kalau nak merancang keluarga, sbbnya hari subur/ hari dimana ovulasi berlaku adalah pada hari ke 14..... dalam medic, kitaran haid yang normal adalah between 28 to 35 days....
- korang ni ada PMS ke tak??? ataupon lebih tepat Premenstrual Syndrome.... masuk sekali period pain ataupon lebih dikenali sebagai algomenorrhea/ algodismenorrhea...


dah la dulu.... rasa nye nnt karang berjela2 pulak cerita pasal mende nie, ok semua, get back to work occay...

Over My Dead Body....

forgive me for my absence..... forgive me for my silence.....


well well well...... to be honest, i am not in a good mood lately.... all this girly things really pissed me off.... once a month it'll come, but i can never tell the severity..... but rite now, i am in deep pain... saya terpaksa angkat bendera jepun, mengaku kalah....


i am shivering and sweating all over, took some medication already but there's no sign of good response.... this is the worst i've ever experienced since menarche.... i made a mistake by taking coffee this morning, and now suffering like i'm gonna give birth ( since sakit nak bersalin org kata paling teruk, dan sakit gigi adalah yang kedua but kedua2 nya shieda tak pernah rasa)... huhu/....


my water finished, and yet i need to drink a lot.... so better go buy one big bottle downstairs... i can't even concentrate on anything rite now, maybe i'll just lay down for few more hours, trying to get some sleep and hope the pain is over when i wake up later...

ntahapapantah

serabut....

pening....

tensi-tensi....

nape la mesti camtu ekkk??

stadi la.... lagi bagus....

takyah pk mende lain k, sok nak exam dah...

Salam Sayang Rindu Buat Abah...

SELAMAT HARI BAPA....

hanya kiriman Yaasin dan Alfatihah mampu ku beri buat insan yang bernama Abah... 6 tahun sudah Abah pergi meninggalkan kami, dan tidak sedetik pon waktu mampu kami gantikan Abah dgn insan lain.... Abah lah segalanya, dan semoga Arwah Abah berbahagia di sana hendaknya....

Layan Sebentar...

When I
start appreciating, I look at it like business. I start by appreciating life
itself. After all, life is really a gift. It might not always seem like
that's
true, but it is. If nothing else, it's a gift of discovery. So I
appreciate
that!

i would like to dedicate my warmest greatest gratitude to this very sweet looking young lady for her to really make my day yesterday.... she left a msg on my CBox telling me to check my mail... and i was very2 delighted and surprised upon that.... she actually did steal (takpe husna, dah dihalalkan) some pictures of me myself, me wt hannan, and not left behind is the picture of me with my baby Stitch... but the best part is she did some tremendous job to all the pictures taken... i was so excited to put up all the edited pictures in this n3, but then came to a second thought of maybe saving another half for the future.... so let's embrace the amazing touch by Mrs.Sheikh.

me n hannan in our shocking fluorescent green baju raya.... hehe

this one was during the first snow fall last year remarking our last winter in moscow...

me with my baby Stitch... and the last one is me myself.... i bet those who've been reading my blog for some times must really know how bad i could say my addiction to make-up thingy and lil stuff for my stitch....

and again, thank u so much husna!!! i labiu!!! mmmuahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! next time when i fell like editing, i'll just pass my photo with u occay.... hehehehhe... and for those who wanna have some private lesson in editing pictures, u can go directly to She's The One blog and leave her msg...... hehe husna, i'm promoting u ni tawww....

lalallala... tatatata.... papapa... rararra

i was checking on my old photos and bumped into this quite ugly me.... in fact i was the one taking it... lalallalala.... actually i'm taking a deep breath for a while, tired of reading and revising... and that explains why i am here.... okla, gotta get back to work.... ciao!!!

sekilas ke belakang..................

Hehe, don't get knocked by the title occay... i am just gonna tell ya bout my most favourite place for the entire 6 years living in moscow... which is Wet market Tepli Stan....

... this is the place for the un-lucky not so rich people to find their things... this is the place where they sell food stuffs, daily clothes, and daily needs at a very cheap price, which in most cases lotsa peope being cheated.... but still this is the place where i managed to get all my things and survived during the dark-period....

i used to shop my food, winter clothes, and pants here before ( during my 1st year here, there were no such things like supermarket and big malls to do proper shopping, and if there were we just happened not to have the adequate amount of money to do so).... but then, thanks to the allowance increment by the JPA ( some might say it was ridiculous... from 200usd to 700usd, yet never say anything if u'r not in the shoe )....





anyway, despite of the so called 'luxury', i still do my shopping at this cheap wet market... buy what??? hehe, all the proteins for my cooking (fish, halal chicken, halal meat, and all kind of seafood), and the vitamins that i need (fresh veges, and fruits)... and now when it comes to spring summer season, probably the first thing gonna pop into my mind when mentioning bout this place definitely the various choices of colourful fruits.... just name any and u can get them at a very cheap price.....

and must-buy fruit for me is actually cherries.... to be exact, the Uzbekistan cherries... they're bigger, sweeter, yummier, purplier.. er... er... er.... a bit expensive compare to the others, but never fails me.... each time i'll buy 1/2 kg and finish them not even in a glance... hahaha.... but the not soo good part is the purple juice will stain on my lips, teeth, tongue... turn me into a ghost...

let's say cherrie is my first obsession right now...

and what comes after her???

hehe, well for the time being the biscuits in the below picture is my second obsession.... i made them myself, but taste just like the expensive biscuits u ever bought in any malls.... i can guarantee u all, and anyone interested please tell me so that i can share the recipe.... i've been baking them several time, and get compliments from each person who happened to get a bite of it...

hehe... oops, i'm gonna have some more then.... come to my room if u wanna join me kay...

fairly lame

hello.... how's everyone doing out there??? Having good times perhaps, or maybe dealing with some problems with your closed ones???.... wowowoowo, whatever it is, don't forget to create a smile on your face as it absolutely is nothing compared to the joy and happiness that it would bring to the suroundings.......

phuh...

what i'm gonna write here today ya???.... thinking..... tikketakketak...... thinking..... lol!!!

occay, to start with, i am well aware at the risk of breaking some hearts and neglecting my dearest frens for not checking and updating my blog.... i am sincerely sorry for the un-replied messages and comments..... i'd tried my best but the thing is i'm not the type of person that can deal with lotsa thing at one time.... and my absence in this blogging world totally one thing i'm not happy with, i wish i can hang on here every now and then.... but again, study always come first, and whether i like it or not, I've decided to dedicate all my time on study, for finals.. This is wad i am suppose to do, study hard and smart.... (what a nerdy huh?? :(.... )

P:`

I guess my real daily updates will appear only after 21st of june..
till then!
Peace

2ndly, i just learned and realized that to open up and to talk from our heart is actually a nerve wrecking situation.... i have to be brave and strong, yet know how to accept other's critics on our weakness... but as long as it does help to clear things up, i am fine with it.... A good fren of mine always reminds me that miscommunication often leads to failure in various field, and the most unwanted if it does affect relationship that we'r in.... This is what we call The Power Of Communication... When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is best described to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. And don't afraid to tell ur partner your Likes and Dislikes... he may want to tell u the same thing, Tell them ur feeling, share ur happiness, seek his company when u are sad, bummed, discouraged, beaten, sick, and frustrated or anything.... Admit ur mistakes and never ever throw a lame excuse when it is so obvious u'r the guilty one...

and after all, this is only a tiny part of the life and love secrets....

occay, i guess that's all for now.... c ya guys later!!!!

mmmuachhhhhhhhhhhhssssss.....XOXOXOXOXOX........